I’ve never felt less at home in this world than I do now.

When I came across this line in a written reflection from another Christian, I reread it a few times, let it sink in, and copied it down. After the recent shot that rattled our nation and beyond, it seems almost everyone is in a state of reflection, leading them to ask, “What now?”

Almost everyone being the operative phrase. After the public display of evil, it seems there was a fairly loud group of people who knew exactly what to do now – they jumped on blaming, excusing, rationalizing, and even celebrating the loss of life. There was no reflection on right and wrong, good and evil, or personal responsibility. 

Perhaps most shocking to me, and there were a lot of terrible things being said, was the admonishment not to use words like “evil” or “demonic” when describing what happened. The reason? These labels are harmful. Nevermind that someone was actually harmed – MURDERED – by an assassin’s bullet; we must care more about the feelings of the assassin, any future assassins, and those busy celebrating. If only we talked things out using nice words, then no violence would ever happen. Well, that social compact has been smashed. It’s more like, ‘agree with me or die, but don’t you dare call that evil.’

This hypocrisy truly brought me to the first line of this post: I’ve never felt less at home in this world than I do now. 

How can I share a world with people who think this way? With people who view words as violence but excuse actual violence? With people who would gleefully dance on the grave of a young husband and father? With people who believe an ideology that leads to the death of human beings who disagree with them, and then still purports its believers to be the real victims? With people who might just as well be okay with me being killed for my beliefs?

The answer to all of these questions is: I can’t because I was never meant to.

Yes I am in this world, but I have learned what not being of this world truly means. I cannot and do not and will not accept reframing or dismantling of the truth. Jesus Christ is the Truth. That’s where I land and I will not move from there.

I join thousands (and probably more) of Christians who have awakened and locked in what they believe. No more wishy-washy, lukewarm, watered down Christianity. Jesus Christ is “the way and the truth and the life” (John 14:6). There is nothing else and we need to stop pretending there is.

Now back to being in this world. I was born and I live in this current time in my current place. Just as the Bible tells us of righteous people living among the sin and evil of their generation, so must we. Just as the Bible tells us incredible accounts of God using people for his glory, regardless of past sin or present circumstance, likewise God can use us.

We are called to be set apart. This recent tragedy should shock us into remembering that evil is real, and people will hate you for believing in Jesus. The separating of light from darkness is necessary.

An amazing thing to consider is how God may use someone committed to evil, by transforming them into living for Christ to advance the Gospel. Just as He changed Saul to Paul, who in our present evil day may be saved and begin proclaiming Truth louder than any of us? We know of God’s “wonder working power” (Psalm 77:14). Do we hold onto the belief that He can still do this?

I do. I look forward to seeing how God will continue to use this evil for his glory and our good.

One of those ways is Christians, including me, completely shedding fear of man. When we love God with all of our hearts, souls, and minds, there’s no room left for anything else. I do share this world with many people, but I do not have to accept the world’s version of reality out of fear of what may happen when I disagree. I am commanded to love my neighbor, but I do not have to go along with how my neighbors define love, tolerance, or beauty. Most certainly, I am called to serve my fellow image bearers, and the best way to do this is to advance the Truth as God defines it, clearly laying out what is good and what is evil.

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” (Proverbs 9:10) is assuredly unfolding before our very eyes. The more that Christians understand their starting and ending point – Christ – the more everything else falls into place. How beautifully we can shed faulty opinions, labels, ideas, and lies when our focus remains on the One who created us.

I love how it is put in Galatians 1:10, “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

If we know the Truth of Christ, we mustn’t cower in fear of people who need the Truth as much as we do. A note in my study Bible puts it this way: “A Christian who fears the Lord and not people is free and unstoppable.”

That’s the shift I feel. Free and unstoppable. Free from fleshly fear and unstoppable in living out my beliefs. Those who don’t yet believe in Christ will continue their mission of advancing evil while calling it good; we cannot waste time caring about the opinions of the wicked and the lost. We must proclaim Truth in love because hearts can still be won.

How awesome is the revelation that this world, though created and called good but broken by sin, is not our home. We are not meant to feel comfortable here because our home is Heaven. We are passing through on our way to eternity with our Father. 

I want to use my time until then living for the Lord. Your will be done.

“If God is for us, who can be against us?”

Romans 8:31