We recently had something pretty scary happen at our home. Being a law enforcement family lends itself to knowing that evil exists, but it’s completely different when the effects of evil literally come knocking on your door.

I have replayed the events in my mind time and again, debriefed with my husband multiple times, and listened to my daughter’s version of events more than once. With some distance between that night and now, I am left amazed at how God played a hand in it all. 

It’s hard to explain, but I am so glad I can see His hand in this; that I didn’t miss out on these nuggets of wisdom from Him. Although we saw suffering, experienced fear, and live with the trauma from that night, God kept us safe. We don’t know why it happened, but we know He protected us in countless ways. 

From our daughter already being in our bedroom that night, to my husband being home from work, to he and I working seamlessly as a team, God was in the mess with us. 

There are many things I can’t explain. How was I so calm calling 911? How did I wait patiently for updates from my husband while I stayed with our daughter behind a closed door? How did I trust my husband to handle the situation when I could see nothing and all I could hear was screaming from our kitchen? How did he trust me to stay put and be ready? How did my husband steadily and with authority handle three injured parties on his own? How did I just glove up and get to work scrubbing someone else’s blood from my furniture, walls, floors, and doors without melting down? How can I confidently tell my child we are safe when we just experienced a bloody and terrifying episode?

I don’t have the answers to these questions other than God. That’s it. 

Trust me, there have since been many days and moments when I wanted to take this from God and handle it on my own. With anger as my guide, I wanted to give certain people a piece of my mind; I wanted to bomb my neighbor’s house where it all started; I wanted to be mean because it didn’t feel fair.

But by the grace of God, He kept filth from my mouth, bomb-making materials from my hands (lol), and hate from my heart. 

It’s not my battle. God continues to remind me of this. 

Out of the blue (to me, not to God), I felt a sudden hunger for His Word. I’ve been reading and studying my Bible hours at a time, truly renewing my mind.

My husband and I have seen in real life how our trust in one another got us through a dark time. I got to see him as the provider and protector that God created him to be. He provided help and protected his family all at once. He got to see me as his help meet, strong and completely trusting his leadership.

My daughter’s school work directed us to read and study Psalm 23 right when we needed it: “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want… I fear no evil, for You are with me.” We have prayed these words many times since, especially before bed. 

Proverbs 3:5 has been highlighted repeatedly just in the last few days: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” After the third time it came up, my daughter said she felt like God really wanted her to know those words. 

We got to see a bit of redemption in one young man who came back to thank my husband for saving his life. Because my husband was asleep when he showed up, I talked with him and listened to the gratitude in his voice as he said over and over that he’s so glad to be alive. I don’t know why his life was spared that night, but I pray he will come to know the reason.

I can see God all over this.

With this testing of our faith (mostly) behind us for now, we can hang on to what it has produced – love for His Word, strengthened partnership, courage to face fears, and a slice of redemption taking place. 

Most of all, knowing and trusting that it’s not my battle. I don’t have to know why this happened or how to make it all better. Somehow, we were right where we needed to be that night, and the rest is up to God. 

He’s got this.

“For the battle is not yours, but God’s.”

2 Chronicles 20:15